I read this excerpt from ‘Love It Forward’ By Jeff Brown and was left deep in thought….
“There are two types of relational silence- one that
serves the connection, one that damages it. In the first,
silence comes with the qualifier “I need some quiet
time to reflect”, which is healthy and respectful to
In the second, silence comes with no
qualifier and others are left to wonder what is actually
happening. In this case, silence is actually violence- a
passive aggressive attempt to cause suffering, or, at
the least, a negligent self-absorption that makes things
worse. Given that so many of us grew up with the
silent treatment, it is essential that we let others know
what is happening when we go quiet. It is respectful
and it keeps the love alive. Even something like “Time
out!” can be enough to keep silence from turning into
Such an important message for all of us since we all engage in relationships on a daily basis.
Silence can be used as a form of violence and many people including parents use it without realising the deep consequences.
I am a firm believer in letting people know when I am upset about something (nicely most of the time 😉 ).
I believe that when you love someone and value your relationship with them, the least you can do is let them know what is bothering you.
You both deserve to be able to talk about your differences and hopefully come to some kind of solution.
Giving the silent treatment is never the answer. Ever.
(I may expand on this subject at a later date. )
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